An Illustrated Review of Fifty Shades Darker Chapter 15

So we’re back to the same old absolutely fuck all happening….aaaaand then THAT cliffhanger happens…..you have to be very VERY good to be able to deal with such a sensitive topic as this one and just….she’s in the middle of the fucking pacific ocean, that is how out of her depth E.L James is on this one.

plot and characters (??CITATION NEEDED??) from Fifty Shades Darker by E.L James (Random House)

Music:

Spawn the animated series theme by Shirley Williams
The Shining music (Warner)
I’m Gonna Love you Just a Little Bit More Baby by Barry White (20th Century Records)
Left Bank Two by the Noveltones (??)

An Illustrated Review of Fifty Shades Darker Chapter 14

Revelations! Three of em! Count em! Three surprising things we didn’t see coming during this chapter! (I know, never expected one, let alone three)

We’ve got: an amateur’s approach to Freud so unbelievably mishandled it makes you want to smash your head against the fucking wall, the oldest romance thing in the book done in the most inappropriate context you can think of (that Ana’s too dumb to feel insulted by) and finally another reason for Ana to have another eight million word neurosis monologue about her fears that Christian’s going to cheat on her for no fucking reason!

…well at least its actual stuff happening I suppose.

NOT MINE:
plot and characters (??CITATION NEEDED??) from Fifty Shades Darker by E.L James (Random House)

Music:

Spawn the animated series theme by Shirley Williams
The Shining music (Warner)
Terry & June theme tune (BBC)

An Illustrated Review of Fifty Shades Darker Chapter 13

It’s finally here. The gun wielding ex shows up! And CHRIST is it stupid.

NOT MINE:

plot and characters (??CITATION NEEDED??) from Fifty Shades Darker by E.L James (Random House)

Music:

Spawn the animated series theme by Shirley Williams
The Shining music (Warner)
Space invaders sound effects (Midway)
Closer by Nine Inch Nails (Nothing/Interscope)

An Illustrated Review of Fifty Shades Darker Chapter 12

This chapter was nearly 50 pages long. Literally NOTHING happens in any of it except the last fucking sentence. This was the longest, dullest most tedious load of shite I have ever read, and that includes the last book and that’s saying a lot.

BUT!! Stay tuned, this is the cliffhanger we’ve all been waiting for and a tease that next chapter: SOMETHING IS ACTUALLY GOING TO HAPPEN!!

plot and characters (??CITATION NEEDED??) from Fifty Shades Darker by E.L James (Random House)

Music:

Spawn the animated series theme by Shirley Williams
The Shining music (Warner)
Closer by Nine Inch Nails (Nothing/Interscope)
Onwards!/I Am the Doctor by Murray Gold (BBC)

 

An Illustrated Review of Fifty Shades Darker Chapters 11

This chapter, I had the piece of my brain responsible for logical reasoning removed. I still have a better fucking sense of logic than the absolute dumbest two characters in the entire history of recorded fiction. Seriously, Roald Dhal’s the Twits are fucking Einstein compared to these people.

NOT MINE:
plot and characters (??CITATION NEEDED??) from Fifty Shades Darker by E.L James (Random House)

Music:

Spawn the animated series theme by Shirley Williams
The Shining music (Warner)
Alf Clausen – The Land of Chocolate (Rhino Records)

An Illustrated Review of Fifty Shades Darker Chapters 9 + 10

I missed a couple of weeks so here’s two for the price of one.

CHAPTER 9

Before you ask…look nothing fucking happened in this chapter again, I need something slightly interesting to look at while editing this crap

NOT MINE:
plot and characters (??CITATION NEEDED??) from Fifty Shades Darker by E.L James (Random House)

Music:

Spawn the animated series theme by Shirley Williams
A Nightmare on Elm Street theme (New Line Cinema)
Sin Nanna by Sunn o))) (Southern Lord)
Music cue from “The Chimes of Midnight” (Bigfinish)
Chopin Prelude E.Minor (op 28. no.4) (EMI)
The Shining music (Warner)
Blood hittingwindow sound effect – Rock-Savage @ freesound.com

CHAPTER 10

So…after running away to a boat for one day after their home being invaded by Christian’s crazy gun wielding ex who stole Ana’s car. They decide to….go home again…still not having called the police…I really, really didn’t expect to have to be explaining what police are and why you should call them if scary crap like this happens. What the fuck E.L James?

NOT MINE:
plot and characters (??CITATION NEEDED??) from Fifty Shades Darker by E.L James (Random House)

Music:

Spawn the animated series theme by Shirley Williams
The Shining music (Warner)
Alf Clausen – The Land of Chocolate (Rhino Records)
Closer by Nine Inch Nails (Nothing/Interscope)
Blood hittingwindow sound effect – Rock-Savage @ freesound.com

An Illustrated Review of Fifty Shades Darker Chapter 8

https://stubagful.wordpress.com

WARNING: If a gun weilding psycopath breaks into your home DO NOT DO WHAT THE PEOPLE IN THIS VIDEO DO….then again I seriously hope anyone watching this didn’t need to be told that

Plot and characters (??CITATION NEEDED??) from Fifty

Shades Darker by E.L James (Random House)

Music:

Spawn the animated series theme by Shirley Williams
The Shining music (Warner)