They keep turning me down on grounds of taste, I think this one is more likely to convince them of my merit as a children’s author, and it also tackles important things in a child’s growth and emotional development. See what you think.
He felt funny, but it was a nice sort of funny.
But he was probably looking at the wombat for too long, as people noticed.
When he was leaving school that afternoon, he was cornered by Lenny the Leopard, Carl the crow, and Randy the pit bull terrier that was bright purple and had a massive head for some reason.
“Stevie’s gay!!” shouted Lenny the Leopard “I saw him looking at that Wombat that looks like a willy!”
“So they started hitting Stevie very hard and whipping him with towels.
And then Randy the pit bull terrier jumped on Stevie and started hitting him with his abdomen.
And then Lenny the Leopard went wee wee on his face.
“Bet you homos love that!” said Lenny the Leopard, smiling.
Then the bullies went away and felt all funny about what they had just done.
Stevie sat there crying for a little bit.
Until Sandy the screamingly camp Pheasant came along.
“What is wrong little squirrel?” asked Sandy “were those bullies picking on you?”
“Sniff…they said I’m gay because I was looking at that wombat that looks like a willy” said Stevie “but I couldn’t help it”.
“Oh, its okay” said Sandy “if you’re gay, it doesn’t matter, don’t listen to them, lots of people are gay and its no big deal”
“Really?” sniffed Stevie.
“Of course not” said Sandy “now lets go to a leather bar, it’ll be lots of fun”.
So Stevie and Sandy went to a leather bar with Hortence the Nympho kitten and Billy the sadomasochistic badger with a leather fetish who liked to be tied up and whipped.