ZoneOneRadio: Zone One Digest: The Art of Numbers

This week! Zone one digest is proud to present a host of more talented people featured on other, better shows that you should probably listen to instead!

#LondonArts @jenny_runacre visits @LondonISF and talks about a polar bear Sculpture with Stanley Johnson, father of @MayorofLondon Bojo. Also Commander Fenice threatens people with a chainsaw.

@LondonLifeRadio @sillymrhawkins talks to adventurous Mr Robin Handbury-Tenison about his trips around the world.

@_InGoodTaste are featured at number 49 in @Mixcloud top 50 of 2012, with their @MovemberUK Cookbook from the end of last year

And finally #LondonGP doesn’t feature at number 49 in Mixcloud’s top 50 of 2012, instead it features at NUMBER 26!! With @radio_matthew at BBC press launch for their 2012 F1 coverage last year, where he chatted to @mrjakehumphrey …yes that one.

All complaints can be directed to anyone except me. and

Hugh’s Album Reviews: Festival Awards 2012

So this is probably gonna be an annual thing on this site. Here we go the music festival awards the first category is;


And the nominees are:

CHICKEN WRAPS                                              THE PIZZA PLACE

ROAST PORK VAN                                            THE BLOODSTOCK ARMS

And the winner of the Best Food Stand Award goes to….


I have never had a pizza that nice before…could have done with more Jalapeños though but that’s just me.


Our second Category is;


And the nominees are:

SEPULTURA (Bloodstock Open Air)                                          IGGY AND THE STOOGES (Hard Rock Calling)

BIFFY CLYRO (Download)                                                              MEGADETH (Download)

And the Winner is;


Just wow, I was blown away by these guys and I can’t believe they don’t play very often.







BOOKING ANVIL (Bloodstock Open Air)

And the winner is:


Why play it backwards…I know that the last part of the album is slightly naff but come on, people paid for the BLACK ALBUM! Not the Black Album backwards.




MASTODON (Reading/Leeds)                                    SKINDRED (Hard Rock Calling)

Amy MacDonald (Hard Rock Calling)                        WINTERFYLLTH (Bloodstock Open Air)

And the winnder is:


I have never seen so much energy coming from a band and an audience all festival season well done you Welsh bastards you deserve this award!




TWO:10 (V Festival)                                                        HAWK EYES (Hard Rock Calling)

I AM I (B.O.A)                                                                    TOBI (Isle of Wright)

And the winner is:


I saw I Am I, heard things about Tobi and have seen footage from TWO:10 but Hawk Eyes deserve this award because they (along with Dirty Youth) saved me from the shitty London weather at Hard Rock Calling and Hawk Eyes actually made me want to go out and get their album and EP, not that is something that is difficult to do.


SCARIEST BAND (This award is solely for Bloodstock Open Air and The announced bands for Sonisphere 2012 that didn’t happen)


DIMMU BORGIR (B.O.A)                                                                                               WATAIN (B.O.A)

QUEEN + ADAM LAMBERT (Sonisphere)                                                                MAYHEM (B.O.A)

The winner is:


Wow, I have never been more terrified and in awe of a band as I was for Mayhem, the last time I felt that frightened what when they announced Queen + Adam Lambert to be the headliner at Sonisphere 2012…that made me want to cry…but Mayhem made me want to Cry with fear and were bloody awesome!




ALICE COOPER (B.O.A)                                                                   BLACK SABBATH (Download)

FOO FIGHTERS (Reading)                                                              PAUL SIMON (Hard Rock Calling)


The winner of best Headliner is:


That was an awesome performance from one of the greatest folk legends to ever walk on this fucking planet. My hat is off to you sir, you beat the king of Shock Rock, the kings of metal and one of the best live bands on the planet to get the top spot just by playing your best album in its entirety and doing it so it makes sense (UNLIKE METALLICA)




BLOODSTOCK OPEN AIR                                                                                READING

DOWNLOAD                                                                                       CAMP BESTIVAL

And the winner is:


It just rocked nuff said







LATITUDE                                                                                            V FESTIVAL

T4 ON THE BEACH                                                                            SUMMERTIME BALL



Coldplay and Justin Bieber on the same line up…case closed




DOWNLOAD                                                                                       READING

HEVY MUSIC FEST                                                                            BLOODSTOCK OPEN AIR


Winner is:


Well done Download you won this award because you had 3 huge headliners (Prodigy, Metallica and Black Sabbath), also a lot of the support was good.



MACHINE HEAD (B.O.A)                                                                                FOO FIGHTERS (Reading)

BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN (Hard Rock Calling)                              ABC (The Ultimate 80s Festival)


Winner is


They have the best fans I have ever met and seen from any band out there, they help you in a pit and they are all so into the band and the music they play.




And the winner is:


You out did yourself with the line-up. Well done again for the bands you booked and hopefully next year will be as successful for you and for the other festivals.

Hugh’s Album Reviews: Hard Rock Calling 2012

So there was this music festival in Hyde Park…I went to each day…let’s talk about it.

Friday (Quote of the day: ‘This song is about…Stuff’ – Front man of Hawk Eyes):

Music didn’t start until 4 o’clock, me and the Herbal Crackpot left the house at 12 o’clock, and we walked to the train-station…in the wrong direction…well this is a good start! Also informed Herbal Crackpot that I have never seen Watership Down…that made for an interesting train journey.

We arrived in Hyde Park at about half past 1…to the smell of Bark chips…and horse shit. We went into the arena and we had a choice…stand in the rain and listen to an acoustic set by Kids in Glass Houses or try and find shelter…but then something caught my eye…THE PORK BAGUETTE VAN! ITS HERE OH MY GOD! KNEBWORTH ALL IS FORGIVEN!!! Pork baugettes 1,2,3 and 4 were all consumed while I watched the Dirty Youth (7/10) in the Pepsi Max Stage. Me and Crackpot decided to go out and watch a bit of Black Stone Cherry (6/10) was a bit bland and went back to the tent where we were treated to one of the many quotes of the festival. Hawk Eyes (10/10) fucking rocked…they rocked so much I went out a brought their album and EP…which both rock by the way, but I might wait for until after Bloodstock (next week) to review that.

Red, White and Blues (8/10) followed Hawk Eyes. They were okay, nothing special but worthwhile watching. SKINDRED NEXT (10/10) Probably the highlight of the day, Skindred rocked the fucking tent, and also caused me to nearly flatten two young girls…well they looked young…they were short…and looked like the type of people I would shoot dirty looks at while being at Sonisphere.

We went outside as the weather cleared up for Iggy and the Stooges (8/10) who pretty much played the entire set from Sonisphere 2 years previously. Followed by the headliner, Soundgarden (9/10). They were really good, playing songs me and Crackpot both sang along with, and it is the greatest experience hearing Black Hole Sun being sung by about 30,000 people.


Saturday (Quote of the day: ‘It’s like a swamp of shit really’ – random woman talking about the mud during Bruce Springsteen):

Today saw me travel into London again, with my brother Wil. We went to Forbidden Planet (the comic book shop in Tottenham Court Road) (7/10). We then went to arena. Hey Monea (7/10) the winner of the Hard rock rising competition, they were good, a bit bland, but they reminded me of the type of music I don’t listen to…why did I give them 7/10…oh well, don’t question past Hugh.

Next was the ‘One Man Revolution’ with three other people; Tom Morello: the Nightwatchman (8/10) he made me laugh…I don’t think his songs were supposed to make me laugh but they did. A pointless waste of time, considering we were going to get something very similar later on with the headliner. Followed by Lady Antebellum (6/10) bland boring country music. Then John Forgety (8/10) from Credence Clearwater Revival fame…he was a bit bleh to be honest, didn’t watch that much of him because of AMY MACDONALD (10/10) on the Pepsi Max Stage. Amy MacDonald played my favourite song…nearly reduced me to tears…never thought I would write that in a review.

Then came the headliner…Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band (8/10) he seemed to miss the point of FESTIVAL HEADLINER, and just played his normal set…consisting of mostly new album stuff which no one apart from hardcore Bruce fans would know. We left after he played Dancing in the Dark…if we’d have stayed we would have heard the sound get cut off…and we would have seen Paul McCartney get pissed off and walk offstage…damn you hindsight!


Sunday (Quote of the day: ‘She is SHIT!’ – Dad)

Went for a wander with Dad…no need to review it…was pretty much one shop to another, to train to arena. We arrived at the arena just in time to catch Christina Perri (5/10) probably the worst thing of the whole weekend. She was boring bland, pop music…WHY ARE YOU AT A FESTIVAL CALLED HARD ROCK CALLING YOU ANGSTY BITCH WHO CANNOT WRITE ANYTHING APART FROM TWILIGHT SONGS!

Alison Kraus and Union Station (9/10) followed the god awfulness of Christina Perri. She was pretty good. Not what I was expecting but still really good. She got bonus points because she said the Edge from U2 was her banjo player…I like the Edge, he is the only good member from U2.

Then came the headliner…PAUL SIMON (10/10) and what a headliner he was. He came on stage and played Kodachrome, 50 ways to leave your lover and some other songs, then he brought on JIMMY CLIFF! And played some songs with Jimmy Cliff, the he brought on the Ladysmith Black Monbazo, who fucking rocked! They began to play Graceland (with the original Graceland tour band from the 1980s)… in a different order (take note Metallica you will need them) then he let his trumpet player, Hugh Masekela on…he was the only downside to this…the played for too long but meh it was still fairly enjoyable…but like the Friday there was one annoying factor about the crowd. Friday was the girls…on Sunday it was this Scottish prick and his friends who decided to piss in a bottle…luckily it went all over him, serves you right you fucking bastard.

Overall I was knackered!

Was a good weekend…New review hopefully next week not sure…maybe need to find something…



Not that album, anything but that. Not the most overrated album ever!


Episode 55: The Last Episode Ever (Except the Ones that Come After it)

Yes, this is it, the final one…sorta.

So since this is the last one, I thought that myself and regular guests Wil and Hugh Carpenter would look back over the past 2012 years of human existence prior to us all snuffing it on the 21st of December according to the stupid Mayan prophecy people keep banging on about.

Bring on the apocalypse!

Pink Room – Angelo Badalamenti
He Turned the Water into Wine – Johnny Cash
Another Brick in the Wall – Pink Floyd
99 Red Balloons – Nena
Rubber Lover – Marmaduke Duke
747 Strangers in the Night – Saxon
The Fun Machine Took a Shit and Died – Queens of the Stone Age
Burn in Hell – Dimmu Borgir
Act I: King of the Franks – Christopher Lee & Charlemagne
Stand Up and Fight – Turisas
There’ll Never be another – Bruce Forsythe
Invaders – Iron Maiden
Weapon of Choice – Fat Boy Slim

Epic Rap Battles of History: Gehngis Kahn vs. The Easter Bunny
Chaucer Pubbe Gagge – Bill Bailey
The Knitting Song – Bill Oddie
Through the Desert on a Horse with no name – America
The Pope Song – Time Minchin
Ice Cream Man – Van Halen
Wenches and Meade – Alestorm
Feed my Frankinstein – Alice Cooper
Rock and Roll – Led Zeppelin
The Video Game Reference Song – Hugh Carpenter
The Stuart’s Super Happy Magical Fun time of General Confusion and Wonderment Main Theme – Hugh Carpenter
Love Shack – The B52’s

Episode Forty One: 2012

Download it here

MAKER’S APOLOGY: Yeah, unlike most internet reviewers, I had never really done a “storyline” before, which completely draws attention away from the reviews and is quite narcissistic and this was my attempt at it…yeah I had that whole being dead thing but…well, yeah this was my attempt at it. Oh yeah audio quality varies this time around, bad editing.

At the dawn of the new year, Stuart looks over the conspiracy theories surrounding 2012 and supposed Mayan “prophecies”. He also reviews the movie 2012. Gives a top 10 list of the dumbest days we were predicted to meet the apocalypse and gives a passing mention to the 2012 olympics.

Speaking of prophecies, you may remember at the end of last year Stuart’s studio was invaded by an evil little storm cloud that spoke of destruction to come…

Sound effects stolen from
Satellite 15… – Iron Maiden
The Bayou Part 2 – Eric Chevalier – Rayman 2 Soundtrack
Of Blood and Salt – Gojira
They Say – Scars on Broadway
Countdown to Extinction – Megadeth
Doomsday Clock – Smashing Pumpkins
The Number of the Beast – Iron Maiden
It’s the end of the world as we know it (and I feel fine) – R.E.M
Dracula Theme
Hellraiser theme
My Apocalypse – Metallica