An Illustrated Review of Fifty Shades Darker Chapter 22: THE FINAL CHAPTER + Epilogue

The final Showdown…

NOT MINE:
plot and characters (??CITATION NEEDED??) from Fifty Shades Darker by E.L James (Random House)

Spawn the animated series theme by Shirley Williams
Shining music (Warner Bros)
N.L.T by Sunn o))) and Boris (Southern Lord)
Clip from the end of the Omen (20th Century Fox)
Cruella De Vil theme – Disney
Frankinstein Created Woman theme – Hammer

THE EPILOGUE

Well…its been fun but my book review/adaptation/comedy rant/horror movie/torture porn project has to end somehow…here it is

NOT MINE:

plot and characters (??CITATION NEEDED??) from Fifty Shades Darker by E.L James (Random House)

Spawn the animated series theme by Shirley Williams
Shining music (Warner Bros)
Bass Aliens by Sunn o))) (Southern Lord)
Decay by Sunn O))) (Southern Lord)
Temple Grounds #1  – Retro Studios (Nintendo)
Metroid Prime#2 theme – Retro Studios (Nintendo)
The Godfather Horse’s head theme – Paramount
La Marseilliese

An Illustrated Review of Fifty Shades Darker Chapter 21

The Penultimate Chapter

…and even less happens in this chapter than the last one. A very long sex scene and Ana goes to the shops…this chapter’s about double the length of ones with actual stuff happening in it for some reason.

Still, next one’s the last chapter, next time this shit ends…

NOT MINE:

plot and characters (??CITATION NEEDED??) from Fifty Shades Darker by E.L James (Random House)

Spawn the animated series theme by Shirley Williams
Shining music (Warner Bros)
Nightmare on Elm Street theme (New Line Cinema)

An Illustrated Review of Fifty Shades Darker Chapter 20

Two chapters left! (After this one)

So, plot’s ended, they’ve decided to get married…there is no purpose in the remaining pages being attached to this book. Yeah, even less than nothing happens in this chapter. Didn’t even know that less than nothing was actually possible.

NOT MINE:
plot and characters (??CITATION NEEDED??) from Fifty Shades Darker by E.L James (Random House)

Spawn the animated series theme by Shirley Williams
Shining music (Warner Bros)
Helpless Child by Swans (Young God Records)
Decay by Sunn o))) (Southern Lord)

An Illustrated Review of Fifty Shades Darker Chapter 19

https://stubagful.wordpress.com

Three chapters to go!

….and yet for some fucking reason she uses the one ending most romance authors would have the sense to use as an ending now. Just further underlining how much of a mishandled mess this franchise is. That said its kind of fascinating in its awfulness cause DAMN has she fucked up here.

NOT MINE:
plot and characters (??CITATION NEEDED??) from Fifty Shades Darker by E.L James (Random House)

Spawn the animated series theme by Shirley Williams
The Thing theme (Universal)
Dark Samus Battle by Metroid Prime 2 Soundtrack (Retro Studios)
Eastenders cliffhanger music (BBC)
Shining music (Warner Bros)
Psycho murder music by Bernard Hermann (Paramount)

An Illustrated Review of Fifty Shades Darker Chapter 18

https://stubagful.wordpress.com

Apparantly the elevator scene is one of the more popular moments in this book….given how fucking preposterous it is I can see why, its literally the only sex scene in this book with something in it making it distinguishable from the other sex scenes. That being…other people around them…who don’t notice they’re having sex….this novel is set in reality.

NOT MINE:
plot and characters (??CITATION NEEDED??) from Fifty Shades Darker by E.L James (Random House)

Spawn the animated series theme by Shirley Williams
Can’t get enough of your love Babe by Barry White (20th Century Records)
Deacy by Sunn O))) (Southern Lord Records)

An Illustrated Review of Fifty Shades Darker Chapter 17

Five chapters to go!

…and still no narrative throughline to be found. This is what I like to call the “and then another thing happened” section of the book where E.L James just does stuff to fill space rather than for any real reason. I really am having to pull ideas out of thin air to make these videos more interesting or it’d basically be like a documentary about a styrofoam cup every week.

NOT MINE:

plot and characters (??CITATION NEEDED??) from Fifty Shades Darker by E.L James (Random House)

Spawn the animated series theme by Shirley Williams
The Shining music (Warner)
Yakety Sax by Boots Randolph (Monument Records)
I’m Gonna Love you Just a Little Bit More Baby by Barry White (20th Century Records)
Deacy by Sunn O))) (Southern Lord Records)
Closer by Nine Inch Nails (Nothing/Interscope)

An Illustrated Review of Fifty Shades Darker Chapter 16

Happy attempted rape chapter everybody! Yay! Its just what I wanted out of my erotic romance novel!

….I assume that’s what fans of this franchise said when they got to this bit…what the fuck are you doing E.L James?

PLEASE NOTE: I really did NOT want to have to make a video discussing rape, least of all in what is ostensibly a comedy video, it just jumped out of nowhere cause I’m doing a book review and I’m just not a serious enough person for this subject. I hope I’ve been sensitive about this incredibly heavy topic and if you’ve been offended by this video just know I’m very sorry. Rape is a serious subject that ought to be discussed by people who actually know what the fuck they’re talking about….blame this book! It made me do it!

NOT MINE:
plot and characters (??CITATION NEEDED??) from Fifty Shades Darker by E.L James (Random House)

Spawn the animated series theme by Shirley Williams
The Shining music (Warner)
Clip from South Park (Comedy Central)
ET theme (Universal)
“I Just can’t wait to be king” from The Lion King (Disney)

An Illustrated Review of Fifty Shades Darker Chapter 15

So we’re back to the same old absolutely fuck all happening….aaaaand then THAT cliffhanger happens…..you have to be very VERY good to be able to deal with such a sensitive topic as this one and just….she’s in the middle of the fucking pacific ocean, that is how out of her depth E.L James is on this one.

plot and characters (??CITATION NEEDED??) from Fifty Shades Darker by E.L James (Random House)

Music:

Spawn the animated series theme by Shirley Williams
The Shining music (Warner)
I’m Gonna Love you Just a Little Bit More Baby by Barry White (20th Century Records)
Left Bank Two by the Noveltones (??)

An Illustrated Review of Fifty Shades Darker Chapter 14

Revelations! Three of em! Count em! Three surprising things we didn’t see coming during this chapter! (I know, never expected one, let alone three)

We’ve got: an amateur’s approach to Freud so unbelievably mishandled it makes you want to smash your head against the fucking wall, the oldest romance thing in the book done in the most inappropriate context you can think of (that Ana’s too dumb to feel insulted by) and finally another reason for Ana to have another eight million word neurosis monologue about her fears that Christian’s going to cheat on her for no fucking reason!

…well at least its actual stuff happening I suppose.

NOT MINE:
plot and characters (??CITATION NEEDED??) from Fifty Shades Darker by E.L James (Random House)

Music:

Spawn the animated series theme by Shirley Williams
The Shining music (Warner)
Terry & June theme tune (BBC)

An Illustrated Review of Fifty Shades Darker Chapter 13

It’s finally here. The gun wielding ex shows up! And CHRIST is it stupid.

NOT MINE:

plot and characters (??CITATION NEEDED??) from Fifty Shades Darker by E.L James (Random House)

Music:

Spawn the animated series theme by Shirley Williams
The Shining music (Warner)
Space invaders sound effects (Midway)
Closer by Nine Inch Nails (Nothing/Interscope)