KingBomBeard plays Pokemon Yellow Finale and Bonus#1

Hail to kingBombBeard. He is a man that makes let’s plays in affiliation with this site.

Let’s Finish this. In this episode the final battle will commence. Who will imerge victorious? King and Sparks? Or Adam and his Jolteon? The final battle is here. KING Vs. the Pokemon Champion ADAM!

Hello Everybody and welcome to the first of 3 Bonus Episodes for Pokemon Yellow

In this part we go back into Victory Road and we find that bird thing that I spotted before, then we travel to a new area (just south of the Rock Tunnel) and we find something else…something special…something…BONUS worthy…oh Hell with it, I find Moltres and Zapdos

Music: Benny Hill theme (Prepare to get bored of this music because I use it…alot!)

An Illustrated Review of Fifty Shades of Grey: THE FINAL CHAPTER and Epilogue

I did it. I beat Hollywood to a complete adaptation of Fifty Shades of Grey (plus my insanely indepth review and analysis combined with torture porn parody stuff surrounding it)

The Plot and Characters of Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James (Random House)
Tubular Bells by Mike Oldfield (Mercury)
Come to Daddy by Aphex Twin (Warp/sire/WEA/31001/Rephlex)
Beethoven Symphony 7 Allegreto Movement 2

There was no epilogue to Fifty Shades of Grey. My review has one though.

I have sort of changed my mind on not doing the whole trilogy a little bit. If only because I’ve found out that in the third book Ana goes to a topless beach…I would love to see how E.L James totally fucks that up.

I may change the formula if I end up doing the sequels though. All suggestions welcome.

Thank you for grinning and bearing it with me and now enjoy my mental epilogue to this insane 26 week long experiment to adapt and analyse an insanely bad but insanely popular book.

Thanks for watching

The Plot and characters (??) of Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L James (Random House)
Hugh “Analbag Macguffin” Carpenter who is his own person entirely
Audio to My Little Pony (Hasbro)
“Sue’s Dream” – soundtrack from Carrie by Pino Donaggio
“Temple Grounds#2” and “Chykka larva”- soundtrack from Metroid Prime 2: Echoes by Kenji Yamamoto and Kouichi Kyuma
The Fog theme by Varese Sarabande
Psycho theme by Bernard Hermann
La Marseillaise

The World’s End – The Cornetto wrapper is hollow and empty

So yeah, has anyone noticed how utterly disappointing almost every movie released so far this summer has been? Not just content to flaunt expectations, most movies have taken a dump on hope of being one of those life affirming revelatory moments for a fan of that franchise. This is not to say some of the highly anticipated summer blockbusters like Man of Steel, Monsters University, World War Z and Star Trek Into Darkness have ended up being awful, but they have all failed to meet expectations and left you with a bitter taste in your mouth. Were our expectations impossible to meet? Possibly. But a six year return to a franchise yielding results like this takes the fucking cake for disappointments of the summer.

The World’s End – the third outing for the comedy team of Simon Pegg, Nick Frost and Edgar Wright – has somehow managed to sum up the failure of summer 2013 to live up to expectations while not actually being very good in itself. Its an intelligent and articulate point they’ve made about the party being over and the quality of the movie reflects it…but its not a fun movie to watch which negates anything artistic about it. Its really, really not a good film, but its at least interesting, its a talking point.

A little history. I am a massive fan of the two films that preceeded this. Shaun of the Dead was a British romantic comedy movie set during a zombie apocalypse and the comedy mostly played off the fact the implied importance of romantic relationships is dwarfed by gory zombie violence. The people that made it followed up with Hot Fuzz, which took action cop movie cliches and set it in a small rural village and the comedy played mostly off rural villages being weird and unsettling and cop movie cliches being out of place in the setting. These movies were both incredibly funny and both included a joke about a cornetto, and when the same team approached a third idea for what they deemed the “three flavours cornetto trilogy”. It took quite a while for a follow up because the extreme success of Hot Fuzz sent its stars to Hollywood and their careers have taken off since then and now returning for a third film in the general style of the previous two feels…odd. So they sort of did and sort of didn’t.

The big criticism of Hot Fuzz was that although it was fun, it was kind of a similar deal to Shaun of the Dead. I’ve never really got this criticism, they created their own style, you know you’re watching a Simon Pegg/Edgar Wright film, crafting your own voice is hard to do, especially so in the waning British film industry. And while changing the formula and experimenting is something to be encouraged, The World’s End really didn’t feel like it was part of the cornetto trilogy and while different doesn’t always equal bad, it felt uninspired and like it was trying too hard to recapture past glories…which is what happens to be the central theme of the film. This is a difficult thing to wrap your brain around, so is the film turning out to be a disappointing attempt to recreate the past successes of Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz a play on the film being about a character trying desperately hard to recreate the past and doing it badly?

When approaching the movie from the frame of mind that its been ten years since Shaun of the Dead and Pegg, Wright and Frost are all ostensibly different people now, the idea was to have a group of friends who enjoyed a brilliant night out on an epic pub crawl and one of the friends who hasn’t grown up and is desperately trying to recapture the days of his youth drags them all back to their home town while his former friends have moved on and have new lives now and he feels lost in a world that’s moved on without him….goofy sci-fi comedy everybody! So was the uninspired limply directed alien invasion that’s going on in the town that doesn’t want him a metaphor for Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg’s lack of inspiration? Who knows?

That’s the thing, its not the idea that’s bad. The idea of returning to your former home thinking it’ll be the same and wondering if its you that’s changed or the town and it turns out it actually is the town is interesting and reflects the film makers’ own personal journey into stardom quite well and I get that. But the World End feels more like its main character than they probably wanted it to be. Gary King is clinging onto when he was young, radical and popular, but now he’s in his late thirties when he goes back to that old setting, things really don’t feel the same no matter how much he wants them to be. Just like with the film, the same people have got together but the atmosphere isn’t there, something’s changed.

Its flat, its not funny, its uninspired and feels like a completely wasted opportunity and that Pegg and Wright really don’t have anything more to say and that they really want to try other projects and that they feel bound to this old friend who’s stayed the same and wants everyone back together. But that old friend is us; the audience. We wanted this. We waited six years for this, we want the old spark from Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz and it just isn’t there anymore.

People have been making excuses about people expecting this to be a comedy and finding it to be full of neuroses, depression and mid-life crisis that maybe that’s not what they were going for, it wasn’t supposed to be a comedy. Y’know what? Fine. If Pegg and Wright feel they have more to say as film makers and they feel they’ve outgrown the quick cuts (which are strangely absent which is what makes me doubt its really a cornetto movie) then great. Fine. I am fully willing to watch Pegg and Wright grow as storytellers and I got what this movie was trying to say. The problem is if you can’t decide what you want to be you end up not being anything at all. What was this? Was it a deep character study piece? Was it a sci-fi comedy? Was it a metaphor for mid life crisis? Most importantly was it meant to be funny? Well yes it was because there are all these lines that sound like jokes and there are pauses as though we’re meant to laugh but there’s just silence in the cinema and the awkward sense that…holy shit they just failed. Pegg and Wright just failed to make me laugh…this is not a good sign.

The direction is an interesting point. Edgar Wright is incredibly talented. He has unique quirks in his camera placement that make his films instantly recognisable, he’s one of few directors who can truly make a funny script funnier. All of this is completely absent in the movie. The action is also very flatly directed and very simplistic when this is fucking Edgar Wright here, the man who put the R is quirky. His last big project was Scott Pilgrim for crying out loud. But the camera movement just felt very stock, very Hollywood and just left me bewildered that this was directed by Edgar Wright. In fact until I see the making of footage, I refuse to believe this was directed by Edgar Wright.

Another point: the build up. Pretty much the first half an hour is exposition for our wild night of aliens and robots and stuff. NO HINTS WHATSOEVER THAT ITS ABOUT ALIENS. None, nothing. One of the ingenious things about the opening to Shaun of the Dead was it was a man going about his daily life not noticing the escalating zombie apocalypse subtly growing in the background. In Hot Fuzz its a more simple murder mystery but here…smack! Right the fuck out of nowhere after half an hour of trying to establish our characters, all of whom are stereotypes anyway. Don’t get me wrong, Martin Freeman, Eddie Marsen and especially Paddy Considine are pretty good with a script that doesn’t seem to have a whole lot for them to do. David Bradley also stands out pretty well in a minor role.

Another obvious complaint is Simon Pegg is not the right man for this character. Frost is the wild party animal who hasn’t grown up, Pegg is the slightly straight man who gets less straight over the course the film. I get changing it up but for God’s sake Pegg and Frost are really not good at playing each other’s characters. Pegg’s strong point is deadpan humour. I maintain his best performance is his guest star role in the episode of Black Books he’s in where he plays a boring corporate bookshop manager who is almost psychotic in his demands for everything to be normal and to follow a boring set of rules. But he’s got nothing to work with here and his character just comes across as reprehensible. I know you’re supposed to feel sorry for him but Frost does that well, Pegg however just comes across as a prick that needs to grow up and loses sympathy because of his demeanour. Pegg and Frost have realised far too late that they’re typecast.

I could go on but overall it just left me feeling like Wright and Pegg stopped wanting to do films in this style quite a long time ago and that they really shouldn’t have promised us a third film. The Cornetto movies worked because they felt like the creators wanted to make them and were enthused by the ideas, the World’s End feels like a movie where the makers don’t really want to be here and I don’t think that was a clever artistic statement based on what the film happens to be about.

KingBomBeard plays Pokemon Yellow Episodes 29 and 30

Hail to kingBombBeard. He is a man that makes let’s plays in affiliation with this site.

In This episode we face off against Adam and we prepare for the final leg of our journey

In This episode we face off against Adam and we prepare for the final leg of our journey

In this Episode we go through Victory Road and we begin our final challenge against the Elite Four

Songs Used:
Montage – Trey Parker (From Team America)
Final Zone – From Sonic 1
Cave Story Main Theme – From Cave Story (Duh)
Wretched Automatons – From Nier


KingBomBeard plays Pokemon Yellow Episodes 27 and 28

Hail to kingBombBeard. He is a man that makes let’s plays in affiliation with this site.

In this episode we take on the Gym Leader Blaine and then we head back to Viridian City for some unfinished Business

In this Episode we get our final Gym Badge from an old Foe

The song used in this Episode is To Be the Best By Tenacious D (AND IT IS NOT OWNED BY ME!)

METROBLOG: Paparazzi by Royal Appointment

So Kate Middleton and Prince William had a baby. Woop de doo. Hooray. Here’s a sticker! All sarcastic barbs aside, congratulations to the happy new parents and since it’s a media talking point at the moment and I do a blog about the way news media is presented in my publication of choice, the free railway station newspaper the Metro: a few thoughts on the way the Royal baby story has unfolded in the press.

Now, the difference between this royal event and the royal wedding between Kate and William is that unlike during the royal wedding where I seemed to be the only person sick of the endless coverage, the main talking point we seem to be hearing about the royal baby is that people are sick of the endless press coverage. That’s literally all I hear about it. Granted this may be due to the type of people I speak to on a daily basis and the media I consume but seriously, it’s not that hard to not give two shits about a certain news story.

When I have seen a link on the internet to a story about the royal baby, I haven’t clicked on it. When its come on the news, I’ve switched the TV off and gone and stared out of the window or made dinner or something. When people have started talking about it, I haven’t listened. When it’s been covered on the first twelve pages of the Metro, I’ve put it down. I’ve overheard approximately one conversation about it. The only reason I know she’s had the baby at all is it’s been on the front pages of newspapers and I had my eyes open while walking past a newsagent. It’s not that hard to be completely oblivious to something if you happen to not care about a story.

Yes, I agree with you that not being able to walk five metres without hearing something about the royal baby is a tad annoying. However there’s no point asking “why is there blanket media coverage of the royal baby?” when it’s kind of blatantly obvious that they’re endlessly covering the royal baby because journalists think that you care about it. If they were convinced you cared about something else, anything else, then they would dedicate thousands and thousands of hours to providing you with press coverage about that. Endless news coverage of stuff they think people care about is what they do and it is a big news story, they could have got their target audience completely wrong, maybe they care about different sorts of things to the royal baby.


We all know how and why the press works at proliferating stories to an absurd degree when there doesn’t seem to be a whole lot to those stories so just let it go and let them have their fun talking endlessly about the royal baby for the people that care.

At the same time for people that like to be cynical about the way news is presented, it’s been interesting to watch journalists try and make this story seem like it’s a fantastical magical event. I know I’m not saying anything that hasn’t been reiterated a thousand times but the royal family have basically been a tourist attraction for some time now. Now they’re essentially what makes Britain a likable country, they remind people of when we used to be a cute and quaint people that lived in hobbit holes and sent our knights to fight dragons and rescue princesses or something. Problem is it just seems to be the word “royal” that makes people interested. There’s been plenty of people pointing out that this is just the regular everyday miracle of birth here. A woman has a baby, something loads of people go through every day. Good for her. Problem is it’s the paparazzi that’s enthusing this, we should be blaming them for reporting on regular everyday stuff as though its something everyone should care about because they’re royalty who are better than us just because they are. Kate and William are probably nice enough people which is reason enough for someone to take an interest, but its the paparazzi that are to blame for their annoying ever presence in the media, not William and Kate themselves. Take this example from the Metro this morning for instance:


…wow, baby sits in car seat and people on twitter say some stuff, WELL WORTH THE MASSIVE BOLD HEADLINE! I know you’re meant to go “aww” because its a baby but…is this a bit of news? Page four in a newspaper is generally meant to be for news stories. Its worth the massive bold headline because its assumedly a royal car seat. Paid for by a royal credit card at a branch of mothercare whose shop assistants are supposedly by royal appointment…ooh aren’t I clever and funny? Yeah I know I’m not the only one pointing this out and the endless people pointing out how ordinary and everyday current royal activities are and the silly over-exaggeration of it by the press is rather ridiculous. I however find it entertaining from a journalistic criticism standpoint because royal press coverage seems to just use simple buzzwords like the word royal to make you interested in the fact this is a story you’re meant to care about rather than what’s actually happening in the story. A man has done a thing, a child has done a thing, its not interesting just because you say it is, you don’t know these people, there is no human element to this vicarious interest in the daily lives of the royals.

royal banana

Wow, I’m so interested because the word royal appeared in an article more than twice.

So yeah. Royal Kate Middleton had a royal baby in a royal hospital….I literally can’t muster up any sort of opinion because I don’t know her and will never meet her. Good for her I guess and I wish her and her son well…but I would say the same to anyone that’s just had a baby whether I knew them and had a cause to like them as a person or not…so yeah…you can go back to doing whatever you were doing now…no seriously I don’t know what else I can say on the subject…and I can’t think of a closing sentence…

….bye…see you next entry I guess.

KingBomBeard plays Pokemon Yellow Episodes 25 and 26

Hail to kingBombBeard. He is a man that makes let’s plays in affiliation with this site.

In this episode we finish off Giovanni once and for all and we continue on our quest to become a Pokemon Master

In this episode we go to the Cinnabar Island and we take a trip into the Pokemon Mansion

An Illustrated Review of Fifty Shades of Grey: Chapter 25

In the penultimate chapter, Ana fights the evil arch villain Dr Crisax in his underground sea base lair and we end on a stunning cliffhanger involving laser beams and a talking goat that left me speechless and can’t wait to read the final chapter next week………….just kidding, she goes home and has sex again……WHEN IS ANYTHING GOING TO FUCKING HAPPEN?

FUN FACT!! (that’s neither fun nor fact…well it is a fact): The intro scene to this episode was originally going to be the intro to chapter 22 but then I decided I liked the other one I had better…then it was going to be the intro to 23 then it ran long, then 24 ran long…and now it’s here and all is good…depending on your point of view

The plot and Characters (??CITATION NEEDED??) of Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James (Random House)
Music from the Shining (Warner Bros)
Tubular Bells by Mike Oldfield (Mercury)
Music from John Carpenter’s The Thing (Universal)
Pokemon music owned by Nintendo.

KingBomBeard plays Pokemon Yellow Episodes 23 and 24

Hail to kingBombBeard. He is a man that makes let’s plays in affiliation with this site.

In This episode we travel through the Team Rocket occupied Silph Co. Building

In this episode we take on Team Rocket and we meet up with our good old friend…

KingBomBeard plays Pokemon Yellow Episodes 21 and 22

Hail to kingBombBeard. He is a man that makes let’s plays in affiliation with this site.

In this episode we go through the Safari Zone

In this episode we arrive in Saffron City