He Who Moans Review of Doctor Who: Nightmare in Silver

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Redefined the word “letdown”

KingBomBeard plays Pokemon Yellow Episodes 1 and 2

Hail to kingBombBeard. He is a man that makes let’s plays in affiliation with this site.

Welcome to my new Let’s Play of Pokemon Yellow for the GameBoy Colour, this is one of the first games I remember playing when I was little and one of the first games I ever completed.

In this episode we start our Pokemon journey through the Kanto region

In this episode we venture into the Viridian Forest and catch ourselves a pokemon

The song used in the sped up section is Polkamon by ‘Weird Al’ Yankovic

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KingBomBeard plays Crash Bandicoot XS Finale ‘n’ Bonus episode

Hail to kingBombBeard. He is a man that makes let’s plays in affiliation with this site.

In this episode we finish the game

There will be a bonus episode uploaded around the same time as this and then the whole Let’s Play will be put together as a playlist for convenience

Here is an extra episode of Crash Bandicoot XS in which I show off our final power up and do some time trials….

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METROBLOG: The Battle of Michael Gove

Recently the Metro’s letters page has devolved into an insult slinging match regarding one rather controversial figure in British politics.

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There’s just something about Michael Gove that gets people riled. I think it’s his face to be honest. He sort of looks like a version of Wallace from Wallace and Gromit that’s been possessed by Satan. I fully expect him to do a full on Exorcist neck twist when he speaks in public. He’s already doing the puking in people’s faces but instead of vomit, he’s puking really dumb legislation proposals.

One day the Metro prints letters and people’s opinions about how much of a prick he is and how he’s messing up the education system, next day its people rebutting that and saying how he’s doing good work, next day its yet more people rebutting that with more about how he’s a prick. The problem with these opinion pages is all they amount to is talking about how the other side is wrong and stupid, neither argument in favour or not in favour of Gove has anything concrete to say on why he’s doing and saying stupid things, it’s just people talking about how opinions counter to theirs are stupid which is not political discussion. “I think you are wrong” is not a qualification, “I think you are wrong because” is a qualification.

If something or someone arouses controversy then that means you don’t have a fact that Michael Gove is an idiot who doesn’t know what he’s doing, you have an opinion that’s just as valid as anyone else’s. The only thing we know is fact about Michael Gove is that he’s a former journalist, now the education secretary, and desperately needs to be catapulted into the sun for being a twat.

…….yeah I think I might be a bit biased…just a little bit.

My opinion’s mainly coloured on the subject of Gove based on his spite towards the teaching profession. If you’ve got no respect for the job, why should you be in charge of it? If you’re labouring under the stereotypical delusion that teachers get to go home early and get long holidays instead of staying late marking and planning lessons and designing projector slides and other shit like that, spending hours having dull pointless meetings and bowing to Ofstead demands and the actual job of teaching kids itself is incredibly difficult and emotionally challenging. You’ve got to put up with all of that in the face of getting paid seriously little for a really tiring and thankless job. There are lots of reasons there’s a teacher shortage at the moment and your clever idea is to increase the paperwork and bullshit procedures and claim that teacher unions are just looking out for their long holidays. Problem is the people that write in offering these rather valid points about how challenging teaching is don’t really articulate their point that well, neither do the opposing parties because, well we don’t seem to be hearing much from teachers themselves.

I especially liked the token “ex-teacher” they had on the letters page the other day saying “I used to be a teacher and can perfectly say its a rather easy job” ………..okay, let’s hear how, when and why you left then? Oh, not going to tell me and just shout about teachers being lazy? Yeah, thought so. We also had the husband of a teacher, someone who’s friends with a teacher. These letters pages are more like a David Attenborough documentary on teaching than any serious discussion. Let us watch the teacher from afar in its natural habitat:

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I have a suggestion: how about everyone with limited involvement with the teaching profession as it stands today, stop claiming to speak for teachers (yes I know how hypocritical that sounds but I’m trying to make a point here).

The problem with the Michael Gove issue is that teachers themselves are not the ones voicing their opinions on the man. We should believe the words of teachers’ unions because they are teachers and have more of a clue what they’re talking about. If you’re going to offer the excuse that they must just be looking out for their long holidays so teachers can’t offer neutral ground on how their profession be run, try and spend an hour teaching a bunch of rowdy 13 year old shits and then we’ll see whose life is harder. Either we hear from the teachers themselves or all this chatter on newspaper opinion pages means about as much as the cute animals section.

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D’awww hes all sad 😦

KingBomBeard plays Crash Bandicoot XS Episode 8 and 9

Hail to kingBombBeard. He is a man that makes let’s plays in affiliation with this site.

In this episode we fight the 3rd boss and then we take on the first few levels of the final world

In this episode we try to plow through the rest of world 4

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An Illustrated Review of Fifty Shades of Grey: Chapter 21

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Apparently all you need to do to get a job in publishing after getting out of university is to read classic literature and go to a literary society. You don’t need anything else, they don’t want someone who knows how to use this electronic box that those young people have nowadays. Who cares about knowing shit about computers? That doesn’t matter, no, all you need to do to get a job in publishing is read Tess of the D’urbevilles and that makes you employable

…..wow, I had no idea. I thought the way to get a job in my chosen field of interest was to work for years on end building up my experience and climbing the employment ladder and ACTUALLY PUTTING SOME EFFORT INTO SOMETHING QUITE IMPORTANT

……….seriously E.L James, if you wanted to include anything about Ana’s work life after university, you needed to dedicate more than a random throwaway 2 pages like it doesn’t mean anything. If you have no respect for people in Ana’s position and know nothing about people like her you have no fucking business writing about them.

This one was originally 32 minutes long, I had to cut over half of it out for time issues. I may upload the whole thing on blip at some point.

STUFF THAT’S NOT MINE:
UPPM-Universal-CLS006_05: UPPM-Universal”, sound recording administered by: 4:16
AdRev for a 3rd Party
Clip from Harry Enfield’s Television Programme (BBC)
That’s All Folks – Warner Bros
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KingBomBeard plays Crash Bandicoot XS Episode 5, 6 and 7

KingBomBeard is a man with heads, shoulders, knees and toes. He does plays video games in affiliation with this site occasionally. Watch him.

In this episode we take down the second Boss N-Gin and we venture into the first two levels of world 3

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In this episode we take down the second Boss N-Gin and we venture into the first two levels of world 3

Also like me on facebook for updates on future Let’s Plays and other stuff at https://www.facebook.com/Kingbombeard

In this episode I finish up world 3 and we shoot down some more blimps…as you do

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KingBomBeard plays Crash Bandicoot XS Episode 4

KingBomBeard is a man with heads, shoulders, knees and toes. He does plays video games in affiliation with this site occasionally. Watch him.

In this episode we finish up world 2 and have a good old time in another water level

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METROBLOG: The story of Phil Morley and his headline grabbing predecessor

I have a super freaky memory for stuff that really doesn’t matter whatsoever. I can memorise entire episodes of Peep Show that I’ve only seen once or twice…but remember to take my lunch to work? Buy milk when I go shopping? Someone’s birthday? Nope, doesn’t register. This automatic sectioning off of my ability to remember important stuff meant I got average grades at A-level and ended up emotionally jaded against people that got into Cambridge and Oxford. I mean I wasn’t clever enough to get into Cambridge or Oxford but my grades would probably have significantly improved if I hadn’t had the theme from cult 90’s comedy show “The Mary Whitehouse Experience” playing continuously in my head during my English Literature exams.

This happens with news stories as well. The news is pretty much a well established set of stories with interlinking continuity that if you’re not caught up with it, you’re going to get lost. Its kind of like comic books having a massive multiverse that would make your head explode and take years to memorise all of it. Catching up takes time and so my brain sections it off and doesn’t bother with it. What’s up with the Syrian rebels at the moment? Why are there massive protests in Turkey? Why are people afraid of the new Iranian president? What is the reason people give for not really seeing North Korea as the serious nuclear threat it claims to be? What’s Vladimir Putin done recently that’s bound to have pissed people off? I don’t know, I can’t remember anything I’ve read about it and have no interest finding out the hows or whys. However when it comes to tiny insignificant stories that don’t really matter and are just printed for the light hearted fluff of it all; that I do remember. So when I see this:

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Which is talking about an NHS boss called Phil Morley making a cheesy cringy employee motivational video (which can be seen and laughed at in full here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RW3kRj_MCv8 ) to get them to stay fit and healthy at work while dressed as Superman in a shallow desperate bid to say he’s filling his role and justifying his six figure salary, who they’re making out to be worse than Hitler in this story. When I see that then my question is, hang on a second, anyone remember this?

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Yeah, a few months back a guy brought a criminal to a police station dressed as Batman and I specifically remember that most news outlets, including the Metro thought this was all cute and quaint and admirable. I mean yeah it is different, a superhero is a masked vigilante turning in the criminals to the authorities and not some guy in an office making cheesy promotional videos, and yes this Phil Morley twat gets his pay from taxpayer money, but at the same time they’re both doing a job while dressed as superheroes, except one is paid quite a lot for it and one isn’t. It’s an interesting question of where you draw the line.

Admittedly the guy dressed as Batman wasn’t officially employed by the police to turn someone in and succeeded in his role as vigilante, while the NHS boss was…well being a twat and got paid taxpayer money for it. Same time though, vigilantism is technically not okay, as is being a twat, so who’s to say which is right and which is wrong?

Still, we’ve got two of the emergency services aided or annoyed by costumed heroes. The police and the health service; one police related superhero hailed as a decent member of society, one health related superhero completely backfired in his attempt to enthuse workforce morale. Now all we need is for the firemen to dress like the X men and people to go “meh, s’okay I guess” and we’ve got the complete spectrum of the good the bad and the just okay I suppose.

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Alright, yes I will admit spending public money on the people making this dumb video is a talking point. Especially since the NHS is kind of stretched to its limit at the moment with regard to funding. Staff go without breaks, spending cuts across the board, there’s a lot of problems with the NHS at the moment and with a fairer system in place to ensure everyone gets a decent wage, then we’d have less reason to complain about shit like this wasting valuable resources. Yes I agree with all of that but I just find it hard to get pissed off at this like most people calling it an insult to the taxpayers that pay for the NHS rather than an insult to the workforce that are the real victims of NHS cuts as that’s really what affects the people receiving treatment.

Yes it is an insult to the workforce in terms of wasted time, money and effort. Its also an insult on grounds of “hey everyone! Why’re you so unenthusiastic at work! Let’s be superheroes!” Bosses trying to be motivational kind of always backfire for very simple reasons. I’ve been there myself when it comes to qualms with attempts at “morale boosting”. I used to work in customer service and am well versed in the mental middle fingers to people who think that the way to get someone to smile and be happy with their job is to just say “come on smile and be happy misery guts!” because that will make them smile. Really? I can smile? I thought I was supposed to look miserable. Thank you for enlightening me, just telling me to smile has made me so much happier. Ahh, let’s all pick flowers beneath a rainbow, everything’s alright now you’ve just said the words “cheer up you miserable git” its like you exude happiness from yourevery orifice.

Pointing out that someone is unhappy and unfit is not morale boosting, its openly going “NERNER!! I’M HAPPY WITH WHERE I AM IN LIFE AND YOU AREN’T!! NERNER!” I can totally sympathise if you are an NHS worker looking at this from that perspective.

Still though I really don’t think this NHS Superman video is much to kick off about. Especially with the excuse from people outside the miserable underpaid grind of the health service frontlines with “ooh public taxes” you do know that taxes get spent on a lot of really dumb shit, right? And I’m not just talking about the MP’s expenses, porn, moats, bird houses etc, there’s a lot of stuff being spent on by governments across the world that makes this look tiny by comparison.

This is a true story: in the US, five hundred and ninety two thousand dollars of state funding was given to this man

To study and find the answer as to why apes seem to have a pre-conceived compulsion to fling their shit at people………………….taxpayer funded study. Seriously, the guy’s dancing to Tony Christie while dressed as Superman. Calm the fuck down.

 

Stuart would like to note he is a UK taxpayer and also thinks this twat shouldn’t have got money for this. He just thought it was a talking point

 

On a completely unrelated note, I picked up the Standard recently and saw this advert for Game of Thrones:

spoiler…okay has the Metro’s twattish Game of Thrones spoilergate and then crying about people being mean to them about it given inspiration to the Game of Thrones marketing department? Or maybe it was a PR stunt organised between the Metro and the Game of Thrones marketing department. I’m off to send threatening emails and tweets to the Metro’s editors to find out more…

KingBomBeard plays Crash Bandicoot XS Episode 2 and 3

KingBomBeard is a man with heads, shoulders, knees and toes. He does plays video games in affiliation with this site occasionally. Watch him.

In this episode I take on the last 2 levels of world 1 and take on the first boss….and I die…alot

9 attempts and 1 computer restart later here it is…episode 3

In this episode I take on the first 3 levels in world 2

For some reason there are syncing problems during this video and I have no idea why. I unfortunately cannot change it now so we are stuck with what we have got, it should be sorted out for the next episode but this one there are problems. Sorry

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