Some of you may remember my attempt at writing a kid’s book entitled “Vernon the Giraffe and the war on drugs”. Well since then I’ve been to a publisher and asked about possible publication….that was a very animated discussion that was, the words “satanic” and “sick weirdo” came up at least three times….bastards.
So unfortunately for now there is no market for Vernon the Giraffe and the war on drugs or its planned but never written sequel “Vernon the Giraffe and the Teenage Pregnancy” or the third instalment “Vernon the Giraffe’s adventures in a US military prison in the middle east”.
So not letting this get me down I went away and started to formulate plans for another book. I thought I was probably focusing too much upon the educational messages (that and it was mostly political and I realized how much I dislike people trying to push their views on kids) So this is a neutral and non-impressionable book that’s just about the characters and plot. So here I present:
Once upon a time there was a crow made out of feet. He was a happy crow and did not mind his smell.
But his brothers did mind the smell, they minded as much as a crow could mind a smell.
So one of them thought of a plan to get rid of the crow made out of feet.
So one day when the crow made out of feet was sat on the park bench cooing away, one of his brothers came over to him in tears.
“What is wrong?” asked the crow made out of feet?
“Sniff…there is a man in the park with a gun, he has slain my family. I would stand up to him but I’m so scared” said the crow.
The crow made out of feet decided to go and have a stern talk with the man with the gun.
But when he got to the place he heard the man was he found that there was no one there.
The crow made out of feet was about to leave when all of a sudden.
His brothers came rushing at him with axes,
they started hitting him quite hard and the crow made out of feet said “ow” lots.
One of the axes split his head open.
Then his brothers went wee-wee on his corpse.
The crow that was made out of feet was dead and would smell no more.
what? Don’t look at me like that!!!
So does anyone think any publisher will buy the rights to this?