VAULTS: BLOGS OF DOOM: The Making of Documentary

This is from my blog archieve hidden in the depths of my hard drive. May contain spelling mistakes and teenage whining, you have been warned.

Can’t quite remember the context, I have no idea what DVD special features caused me to write this, I guess we’ll never know

TAKEN FROM:
Tuesday, Dec 18, 2007

There are so many special features on DVDs. It’s not like the good old days of video when the picture was so blurry you couldn’t even tell how fake everything looks. Yeah, fake, seriously, I watched star wars episode 2 on DVD, droids actually look like they’re made of Lego bricks, on VHS, its blurry enough for you to go “well its crap, but I buy it”.

Anyway, I never watch ALL of the special features, only ones that look vaguely interesting, and they rarely are. Deleted scenes, they sound interesting, but then you watch them and then realise that the reason why they were deleted in the first place was that they were either bullshit or pointless.

Anyway, its like, a tonne of features, I just don’t give a shit about them and they all just seem the same. But people like them, so I’m including these on my upcoming DVD about the importance of being self important.

Here’s the complete list:

Director’s commentary

Commentary on the Director’s commentary

Making of the Director’s commentary

Commentary on the making of the Director’s commentary

Making of the commentary on the making of the Director’s commentary

Interviews with the cast

Interviews with the crew

Interviews with homeless people

Interview with random people that we don’t know and who don’t even like the film anyway

Interviews with other writers and directors who are most likely much better than us

The making of all of the interviews listed above.

Photo gallery

Explicit photo gallery

Incriminating photo gallery

Deleted scenes

Extended scenes

Scenes that we pissed on

Scenes that we used as cigarette lighters

Scenes that got destroyed in a fire and most likely will never be seen again

The making of the scenes that got destroyed in a fire and most likely will never be seen again

Trailer

Making of the trailer

Commentary on the making of the trailer

Trailer for the trailer

Trailer for the making of the trailer

5 TV spots for the trailer

17 TV spots for the trailer for the trailer

A trailer for something completely unrelated

Fifty four alternate endings

Commentary on all fifty four alternate endings

Making of the commentary on thirty seven of the alternate endings

A featurette on twelve of the alternate endings

Commentary on the featurette on twelve of the alternate endings

A featurette on why featurettes suck

A featurette that rips you off by only being one second long and having nothing to do with the film in question

A making of documentary on the film sicked up to please people that watch the special features instead of watching the film which is actually entertaining compared with this crap

The making of the making of documentary

Commentary on both of the above

Three hundred and sixty two Easter eggs

A one thousand page booklet on the complex methods you will have to use in order to find said Easter eggs

Free psychiatric sessions to help you recuperate afterwards

DVD ripping software which allows you to just rip the Easter eggs instead of having to go to the trouble of finding them

A magic spell that just makes the DVD player play the Easter eggs

A music video which may or may not have anything to do with the film in question

A commentary on the music video

Interviews with the crew for the music video

A featurette which is just a blank screen

And “That’s it – a featurette on the special features”

Stickmovies – The Twilight Saga

To celebrate the fact I will never have to watch another godawful adaptation of Stephanie Meyer’s godawful books, I present my retelling of the saga illustrated by stickmen in my usual sarcastic manner.

Enjoy!

1. Twilight

2. New Moon

3. Eclipse

4. Breaking Dawn Part 1

5. Breaking Dawn Part 2

ZoneOneRadio: Zone One Digest: The Bojo Show

I got to speed up John Humphries and Boris Johnson to make them sound like chipmunks – Life goal achieved! And yes – I did edit these people – SEE!! I have clout!

 
Zone One Digest, the best bits of Zone One Radio, is back for more! With an interview with Mayor of London and funder of Zone One Boris Johnson and his thoughts on the Today Programme, Bud Moeller drives championship winning Gilles Viellneuve’s Ferrari in the USGP, Who’s the Boss talk to Stephen Fear, who made a million starting in a phone box, In Good Taste talk to Whole Foods Market in Kensington and do some filthy Thanksgiving cooking.
 

Zone One Digest, the best of Zone One Radio is back with furry faced office troll @5tuarthardy

Featuring @MayorOfLondon Bojo himself on #CommunityProfile offering some interesting thoughts on #r4today with @MarvinNuro

#LondonGP features Bud Moeller stateside driving a championship winning Ferrari @CircuitAmericas


#WhosTheBoss talk to Phone Box millionaire Stephen Fear

and #InGoodTaste talk to Whole Foods in Kensington (@WFMKensington) and also some do some very sexy cooking.

Any suggestions, comments or death threats (death threats not welcome) can be sent to zoneonedigest@gmail.com

www.twitter.com/z1radio
www.twitter.com/5tuarthardy
www.zoneoneradio.com
zoneonedigest@gmail.com

Stuart’s stuff can be found here:
stubagful.wordpress.com
www.youtube.com/herbalcrackpot

ZoneOneRadio: Zone One Digest: The Good Food Grand Prix


 

Zone One Digest – The Good Food Grand Prix

Zone One Digest the podcast is back! With In Good Taste at the BBC Good Food show, Claudia Winkleman turning on the Christmas lights, prototypes with Celia Gates, political comedy with Kate Smurthwaite and F1 Caterham with Tom Webb.



Zone One Digest! The Best of Zone one Radio, the Mayor of London funded community radio station for Central Lodnon, is back once again!

This week;

#InGoodTaste went to the @BBCGoodFood show to find out if Local Food retail is dying and spoke to founder of Hubbub.co.uk (@hubbubtweets) Marisa Leaf.

Meanwhile, #LondonArts saw Stuart attend the BBC question time drinking game (organised by @unfortunatalie) where he chatted to guest for the evening, feminist comedienne Kate Smurthwaite (@cruella1)

#WhosTheBoss spoke to author, inventor and innovator @CeliaGates about applying ergonic design to household products.

Victoria Ferran (@radio_vicky) watches Claudia Winkelman (@claudiawinkle) turn on the Christmas lights in Marylebone.

And finally #LondonGP sees @radio_Matthew talk to @MyCarterham communications manager Tom Webb

If you have any suggestions, questions or comments, send them to zoneonedigest@gmail.com

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www.zoneoneradio.com

zoneonedigest@gmail.com

Follow Stuart’s stuff here:
www.youtube.com/herbalcrackpot
stubagful.wordpress.com

ZoneOneRadio: Zone One Digest: Scary Moustaches and Lizard Ladies

 
Now you can take a little piece of Zone One Radio home with you! (Minus the music)

 
This edition includes…well, the title says it all really.
 
The full version (with music) is still available for streaming on Mixcloud.

Zone One Digest is back with more of the best from London’s Community Radio Station!

This week;

Commander Fenice talks to gerbil eating Lizard Lady @JaneBadler ….look, just listen and you’ll get it.

#CommunityProfile talk to @movemberUK spokesperson Hywel Mills @HywelTM @giletteUK

#LondonLife features @SillyMrHawkins talking about Guy Fawkes

#InGoodTaste @FoodGoblin1 cook up some spooooky tarts and @MarvinNuro talks to pop up restaurant Eat Your Heart Out

And @MarvinNuro talks to his mentor and Princes’ trust member @DavidAkinsanya

www.twitter.com/z1radio and www.twitter.com/5tuarthardy

www.zoneoneradio.com

Follow Stuart’s stuff here:

www.youtube.com/herbalcrackpot

stubagful.wordpress.com

ZoneOneRadio: London Arts: Cyanotype, Deafinitely theatre, Question Time Tweet Along and Kate Smurthwaite

My first interview with a person with an actual wikipedia page and everything. She tweeted about it saying “hard to hear that well” …yeah, don’t think Kate Smurthwaite likes me that much, admittedly audio quality wasn’t great (my rather bumbling fault). Interesting to hear what she has to say though.

London Arts! Zone One Radio’s weekly culture related magazine show bringing you the best of culture in the capital!

This week, Chris visited gallery 286 using a photographic process to create Cyanotype images.

He also spoke to Deafinitely Theatre – a company dedicated to producing plays written, or interpreted, and performed soley by the hearing impaired.

And Stuart Hardy visited the Hackney Attic, where people gather to watch Question Time and play an accompanying drinking game. While there he also interviewed comedienne and political activist Kate Smurthwaite.

Produced by Stuart Hardy

http://www.twitter.com/zoefcunningham and http://www.twitter.com/z1radio

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ZoneOneRadio: Zone One Digest: Chilli Chocolate Skyfall Madness

I made another one of these. Also Skyfall’s awesome, not that you didn’t already know that…

Now you can take a little piece of Zone One Radio home with you! (Minus the music)

 
This edition includes comedy, random dancing, Skyfall and something that probably tastes better than it sounds.
 
The full version (with music) is still available for streaming on Mixcloud.
ZoneOne Digest is back with more of the best from Central London’s community radio station!
#IntoTheMix talk to remixer Imperial and celebrate the release of new Bond film #Skyfall
#CommunityProfile welcome back old guests the London Ambassadors
#LondonArts visit all female comedy night “Laughing Cows” and talk to VG Lee and Maureen Younger
And #InGoodTaste talk about the multitude of different things you make with
chocolate…some really weird and scary things. They also talk to Chocolate boutique Pistachio Rose

Enjoy!

www.twitter.com/5tuarthardy
and www.twitter.com/z1radio

www.ZoneOneRadio.com

www.facebook.com/ZoneOneradio

You can follow what Stuart does here:

stubagful.wordpress.com

www.youtube.com/herbalcrackpot