Hello. This is my rather offensive silly review of the rather unsettling Russian adaptation of Winnie the Pooh. Not meant to be taken seriously.
Hugh Carpenter is a man who is wrong. Every day he gets up and has a bowl of wrong flakes, takes a wrong in the toilet and goes to work where he wrongly does his wrong job and eats a wrong sandwich for lunch like the wrong man he is.
Well who would have seen this? …Well me, because I chose this album. Forgot to mention this last week if you have any suggestions for albums for me to review put them in the comment section or send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org. Now that we have that out of the way Gojira time!
Gojira are one of those bands I got into recently. Death metal wasn’t my style of music for a while, then there was a problem love life related and then it became my favourite genre. Funny how things work out.
I could have seen Gojira at last year’s Sonisphere festival in Knebworth but at the time I wanted to see Biffy Clyro (who put on a good show mind you) and regretted it when I got told about how awesome Gojira are by Stuart. Then I could have seen them this year at Sonisphere which was cancelled….FUCK YOU KNEBWORTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anyway, where was I…oh yes Gojira. Gojira as you probably all know come from France, whose main exports are cheese (which I love to eat in large quantities) and baguettes which I would consume with pulled pork, stuffing and ketchup at Sonisphere…FUCK YOU KNEBWORTH!!!!!!! WHY BOOK QUEEN AND ADAM LAMEBERT YOU FUCKING BASTARDS!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry.
Gojira are from France and follow in the tradition of most metal bands and they prefer to sing in the English language even when playing gigs in France.
The new album L’Enfant Sauvage (which is translated to Wild Child) is the fifth album by the band and it proves that they can create fantastic sounding soundscape.
Gojira’s music is tight all through this album but there is something about L’Enfant Sauvage that just doesn’t feel right. It isn’t as good as the other albums by the band, don’t get me wrong there are some belters on this album like the title track and the Gift of Guilt, but it doesn’t feel like a worthy successor to The Way of All Flesh or From Mars to Sirius.
Gojira seem to have taken one step forward with their sound with The Way of All Flesh and then taken two steps back with L’Enfant which is very disheartening seeing as I love the band (not as much as Van Halen or Rush but love them none the less).
I have a feeling that L’Enfant Sauvage will probably get the same treatment the Link and Terra Incognita get on my iPod, which is take up space on the 160GB of space my iPod holds.
I’m not going to make a comment on the cover art this time coz there isn’t much to say…it’s a face, but it has a tree growing inside it. It’s a bit bland and brown to be honest less awesome than that of From Mars to Sirius which you will have to look up to see.
I’m going to give L’Enfant Sauvage by Gojira a rather disappointing 7/10. I want to love this album, I really do but it just doesn’t hold up to the previous two albums in my opinion.
Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to have a rant about Sonisphere again
FUCK YOU KNEBWORTH! I’M VERY FUCKING DISAPPOINTED WITH ALL THE SHIT YOU PUT ME THROUGH THIS YEAR! I HAD MY TICKET FOR SONISPHERE PERCHASED AND READY FOR USE AND LOOK WHAT YOU DID! YOU HAD QUEEN AND ADAM FUCKING LAMBERT BOOKED AS A HEADLINER OF SONISPHERE FESTIVAL! HOW DOES THAT HOLD UP TO THE LIKES OF KISS AND FAITH NO MORE?!? IT FUCKING DOESN’T! WHERE THE FUCK AM I GONNA GET MY PORK AND STUFFING BAGUETTES NOW? FUCK YOU AND YOUR STUPIDIDITY FOR GETTING MY FESTIVAL CANCELLED! YOU CAN KEEP YOUR RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS! I’M GONNA GO TO BLOODSTOCK!
R.I.P SONISPHERE 2009-2012
This is a rather stupid review of the Beatles weirdest movie. It didn’t turn out as well as I’d hoped, but its such a weird movie I doubt anyone would have an easy time of reviewing it.
Yes, this is it, the final one…sorta.
So since this is the last one, I thought that myself and regular guests Wil and Hugh Carpenter would look back over the past 2012 years of human existence prior to us all snuffing it on the 21st of December according to the stupid Mayan prophecy people keep banging on about.
Bring on the apocalypse!
Pink Room – Angelo Badalamenti
He Turned the Water into Wine – Johnny Cash
Another Brick in the Wall – Pink Floyd
99 Red Balloons – Nena
Rubber Lover – Marmaduke Duke
747 Strangers in the Night – Saxon
The Fun Machine Took a Shit and Died – Queens of the Stone Age
Burn in Hell – Dimmu Borgir
Act I: King of the Franks – Christopher Lee & Charlemagne
Stand Up and Fight – Turisas
There’ll Never be another – Bruce Forsythe
Invaders – Iron Maiden
Weapon of Choice – Fat Boy Slim
Epic Rap Battles of History: Gehngis Kahn vs. The Easter Bunny
Chaucer Pubbe Gagge – Bill Bailey
The Knitting Song – Bill Oddie
Through the Desert on a Horse with no name – America
The Pope Song – Time Minchin
Ice Cream Man – Van Halen
Wenches and Meade – Alestorm
Feed my Frankinstein – Alice Cooper
Rock and Roll – Led Zeppelin
The Video Game Reference Song – Hugh Carpenter
The Stuart’s Super Happy Magical Fun time of General Confusion and Wonderment Main Theme – Hugh Carpenter
Love Shack – The B52’s
Yeah, since I haven’t done it for recently, I thought I’d rant about some recently released things, and something that’s been bothering me. So on that note, the Wicker Tree, Born Villain by Marilyn Manson, Storm Corrosion by Storm Corrosion, Ticket touts and Project X.
The Wicker Man – Main Theme
Corn Riggs – Paul Giovanni
Willow’s Song – Paul Giovanni
Overneath the Path of Misery – Marilyn Manson
Lock Howl – Storm Corrosion
Die, Die, Die my Darling – The Misfits
Heads will roll – The Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs
Goodbye Blue Sky – Pink Floyd
An episode of horror and nightmares sicked up from Bangor’s seedy underbelly. MWUHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Sound Effects Stolen from freesound.org
Shredded Humans – Cannibal Corpse
Meat Hook Sodomy – Cannibal Corpse
The Bleeding – Cannibal Corpse
Hammer Smashed Face – Cannibal Corpse
Staring through the eyes of the dead – Cannibal Corpse
Savage Butchery – Cannibal Corpse
Make them suffer – Cannibal Corpse
Demented Aggression – Cannibal Corpse
Always Look on the Bright Side of Life – Monty Python
Sunshine, Lollipops and Rainbows – Lesly Gore
Love Shack – The B52’s
Yep, you read the title. Its a cultural (well, sorta) look at the Black Eyed Peas from someone the completely wrong demographic for them….well actually its just a rant about a band that’s annoyed me for years.
MUSIC USED (all by Black Eyed Peas except where noted):
I Got a Feeling
The Time (Dirty Bit)
Boom Boom Pow
Mas Que Nada
The Time to Kill is Now – Cannibal Corpse